A Scenerio Likely Never Found in Bountiful

Last night we went to Subway for dinner, and while we were eating, a woman wandered in the store. She was loud and friendly, telling everyone in the store that she loved them. She was all buddy-buddy with all the employees so I figured she was a regular. On her way out, she saw us eating our food, and in particular wanted to say hi to Sam, so she came over to talk to us. She asked Sam a few questions and then told him to give "Grandma" a hug. She informed us that she had a handful of great-grandchildren and loved kids. She was very friendly, but I think more than anything, she was a little tipsy from one too many drinks--we think she had come from the bar a couple stores down from the Subway. She was wearing a low-cut shirt showing off her boobies and her lovely tattoo that was fairly low on her boob. Whether it was put there or has sunk down with time we weren't sure. She kept leaning over to give Sam hugs, and Sam just kept staring at her chest. I think she kept leaning over to show herself off to Chris. She left, and then came back a few minutes later with a gift for Sam: a chicken stuffed animal. It's really cute, but it smells like cigarette smoke. She told Sam she loved him in her boisterous voice, gave him lots more hugs, and made her way back to the bar. It made for an interesting dinner. I think we should probably wash the chicken before Sam plays with it.