The Gift

I was going through some of my old stuff, and I found this story that my cute sisters Mary and Eliza had written for me probably between 2000-2002--after high school and before my mission. I think it's hilarious, but probably only my immediate family will get it. The text written in Red was written by Eliza, and the text in blue was Mary. Enjoy!

The Gift
by Eliza and Mary

There once was a girl named Camilla. And it was her birthday eve. She was so sad because she wasn't going to be in Utah with her twin Eliza on her birthday. She then decided she would stuff her twin in her backpack and take her as carry on. However this made the girl's little sister (Slow-Ma-Hoe-D'ditz) very sad and feeling left out. So Milla decided that since you are allowed two carry-ons that she would take SMHDD too!

But her mom thought it was a secret plot against their fat tootsie-roll of a dog Noite. It was going to be Noite's birthday soon--at least we thought, maybe...she is really Milla's twin sister's black sister who was a spy inside a tootsie-roll's body. All along it had been a lie. She was a dog "Noite" or otherwise known as Sheila Fee Fee, the spy from the London headquarters. Her whole plot was to make her get on the WRONG flight. Camilla wasn't going to Hawaii anymore. Sheila Fee Fee was sending her to Quebec (dun, dun, dun) to get Elder D (name withheld to protect the innocent) and MARRY HIM! (dun, dun dun!!).

This was against the church rules, but Evil Elder D was with the Quebec Headquarters and knew Sheila Fee Fee. So when Camilla got to the airport and on the plane she didn't have a clue this was gonna happen. Then she looked around and noticed nobody else was on the plane. That's not all she noticed either. The lights were pink and the carpet had hearts. This was no ordinary plane--it was the jet-of-love--and Camilla was trapped! Then she thought "like me pink." Slowly the jet-of-love was brain washing her. She shook her head realizing what was happening. There must be a way out off the jet-of-love. But the door was glued shut with chocolate. She was slowly getting dizzy and then she remembered the move that would save her life. So watching Power Rangers had payed off. She did a triple back flip kick at the door, but she fell over in pain. That was TV, not real life jet-of-love trapped victims. But she wouldn't give up, no not without a fight.

But nobody was even on the plane. She decided to go look in the captain's cockpit. When she got there she saw the captain laying on the floor. The plane was on auto pilot and about to take off. Then she saw it--this would help her get off the jet-of-love! A role of duct tape! Camilla knew duct tape was an amazing invention, so she put it to use. She grabbed the roll, taped the captain's mouth shut and ran to the back of the plane. She taped up the propellers and then got to the most important part. She wrote a Dear John on the tape and left it on the window. Then she taped the tape around her waist and lowered herself down into the engine off the jet-of-love. While there, she opened the engine door and stepped out.

Now, all she had to do was run as far away from the jet-of-love as possible. She reached the gates of the airport and paused to look back at the jet. Should she have stayed and married Evil Elder D? Then coming back to reality she told herself "ick, ick, icky!" As she said this, she saw Evil Elder D himself. "Come back, mon petit chou!" he shouted. Then Camilla mustered all her courage and yelled "You sicky, icky, kisser! I'm not a vegetable and I don't like you, so go back to Canada and get to work. Ick, ick icky!!"

But she ran on after still, then someone swooped Camilla in their arms. She turned to see their face--it was Elder Pinto!! "We've been waiting for you!" Camilla said with a relieved tired smile. "We thought you were in the bathroom with Elder Companion...and we didn't know if you'd ever get here on time for your flight!" So Elder Pinto carried Camilla into the airport and put her down next to her twin.

When she went to talk to Liza, she saw her giving her strange looks. So she looked down and noticed she was wearing a pink bunny rabbit suit. "I'm a little worried about you, Camilla," her mom said not even realizing she had been taken captive. Camilla's dad began to ask in a sad puppy like voice, "Eliza, why is there..."

"Dad," Eliza said, " Interstate 50 does not exist because..."

"No!" her dad cut her off. "Why is there a pink bunny suit on Camilla?"

"That's obvious," Eliza explained. "It's because of her summer job at Northern Exposure. Dad, I thought you knew!"

"Oh yeah, I just forgot!"

"Silly Poptart!" Eliza said.

"But Eliza, my favorite child, why is the sisterhood ring only on you?"

"Because Dad, I'm the coolest, but I guess I'll give it to Camilla because it is her birthday eve after all." So she did, but she could hear Mary in the background, "Ha ha! Now you can't ever be a sister again!" Mary laughed. But Camilla and Liza looked at each other and laughed, "It's all good. We're not sisters, we're twins!"

The End

We're still alive and kicking!

We have been informed that we need to post more on our blog. I guess it has been awhile since our last post. We've had a pretty stressful past couple months both in and out of the bakery, but we're here and still breathing, and closer as a couple because of it all. We won't go into the details on here. Instead, we'll focus on the daily things in life that have kept us laughing.

• So as you are all aware if you read our last post, Sam is potty-trained...kind of. He does great if we remind him every 45 minutes or so, but he rarely tells us on his own if he needs to go. The other night we were at Old Navy doing some birthday shopping, and all of a sudden we notice a miniature lake surrounding Sam's feet. And of course we weren't prepared with anything--no extra underwear, no extra pants, nothing! And since we had walked to the mall from our house, we didn't want to make Sam walk home with soaking pants in the cold. So with Chris' birthday money, Sam got a new pair of underwear and new pants. They didn't have any underwear in his size, so he got the smallest size they had. And they're boxer-briefs! With baseballs! He looks so cute in them even though they're huge on him. So the morale of the story: never leave the house with the diaper bag!

• Sam normally enjoys bathtime, but the other day he got soap in his eyes, and he has not wanted to take a bath again. So the other day he was needing a bath really bad. His face was gross, and he smelled like pee (I cannot find any diapers or pull-ups that can keep Sam dry at night. I think he's just a power-pee-er. Should I be waking him up at night to go potty?). It was a struggle to take off all his clothes, and even more of a fight to get him in the bath. He was flailing his strong little body all over the place yelling that he didn't want his eyes to get owies. And then he started yelling, "Non, merci, mom! Non merci!" It made me laugh so hard! I just love it when he uses his little French phrases! At least he was being polite.
• We received a Wii for Christmas, and Sam enjoys playing the games on it. He does pretty well with tennis and baseball, but his favorite is boxing. We should have been better parents realizing that his boxing skills would likely transfer to hitting things and people outside of the game. Oops! Sam isn't allowed to play boxing anymore.
  
• My secret is out: I play the organ, and now our ward knows it. A bunch of weeks ago the regular organist was gone, and there was no one playing the prelude. I went up to the bishopbric and asked if they needed me to fill in for the day. Since then I have filled in quite a few times, and have now officially been called as the assistant ward organist in addition to being the Primary chorister. I don't mind. I enjoy playing. I just need to reaquaint myself with the organ since it has been more than nine years since I played and was taking lessons. I just wish my legs were a little longer so I could feel more comfortable using the pedals.
  
• We had a nice Valentine's Day. I worked all day and came home to a Pizza Hut pizza (my favorite!). Chris and Sam had brought home a bouquet of balloons, and after dinner I was told to pop them all. I hate popping balloons. With each pop came a loud scream. I'm so jumpy! Inside each balloon was part of a puzzle which in the end made a little love note. It was a sweet small gift that meant so much. It was probably the best Valentine's Day I've ever had.
• And one more thing: Chris and I are having a contest on who can get more friends on Facebook. Currently I have 277, and he has 283. It's a tight race!
  

So there you have it--a brief update on us. Maybe next time you'll get pictures and videos. There's a cute video from Christmas I've been trying to post for a long time now, but it isn't working. Anyway, we hope everyone has a great Sunday!