The Gift

I was going through some of my old stuff, and I found this story that my cute sisters Mary and Eliza had written for me probably between 2000-2002--after high school and before my mission. I think it's hilarious, but probably only my immediate family will get it. The text written in Red was written by Eliza, and the text in blue was Mary. Enjoy!

The Gift
by Eliza and Mary

There once was a girl named Camilla. And it was her birthday eve. She was so sad because she wasn't going to be in Utah with her twin Eliza on her birthday. She then decided she would stuff her twin in her backpack and take her as carry on. However this made the girl's little sister (Slow-Ma-Hoe-D'ditz) very sad and feeling left out. So Milla decided that since you are allowed two carry-ons that she would take SMHDD too!

But her mom thought it was a secret plot against their fat tootsie-roll of a dog Noite. It was going to be Noite's birthday soon--at least we thought, maybe...she is really Milla's twin sister's black sister who was a spy inside a tootsie-roll's body. All along it had been a lie. She was a dog "Noite" or otherwise known as Sheila Fee Fee, the spy from the London headquarters. Her whole plot was to make her get on the WRONG flight. Camilla wasn't going to Hawaii anymore. Sheila Fee Fee was sending her to Quebec (dun, dun, dun) to get Elder D (name withheld to protect the innocent) and MARRY HIM! (dun, dun dun!!).

This was against the church rules, but Evil Elder D was with the Quebec Headquarters and knew Sheila Fee Fee. So when Camilla got to the airport and on the plane she didn't have a clue this was gonna happen. Then she looked around and noticed nobody else was on the plane. That's not all she noticed either. The lights were pink and the carpet had hearts. This was no ordinary plane--it was the jet-of-love--and Camilla was trapped! Then she thought "like me pink." Slowly the jet-of-love was brain washing her. She shook her head realizing what was happening. There must be a way out off the jet-of-love. But the door was glued shut with chocolate. She was slowly getting dizzy and then she remembered the move that would save her life. So watching Power Rangers had payed off. She did a triple back flip kick at the door, but she fell over in pain. That was TV, not real life jet-of-love trapped victims. But she wouldn't give up, no not without a fight.

But nobody was even on the plane. She decided to go look in the captain's cockpit. When she got there she saw the captain laying on the floor. The plane was on auto pilot and about to take off. Then she saw it--this would help her get off the jet-of-love! A role of duct tape! Camilla knew duct tape was an amazing invention, so she put it to use. She grabbed the roll, taped the captain's mouth shut and ran to the back of the plane. She taped up the propellers and then got to the most important part. She wrote a Dear John on the tape and left it on the window. Then she taped the tape around her waist and lowered herself down into the engine off the jet-of-love. While there, she opened the engine door and stepped out.

Now, all she had to do was run as far away from the jet-of-love as possible. She reached the gates of the airport and paused to look back at the jet. Should she have stayed and married Evil Elder D? Then coming back to reality she told herself "ick, ick, icky!" As she said this, she saw Evil Elder D himself. "Come back, mon petit chou!" he shouted. Then Camilla mustered all her courage and yelled "You sicky, icky, kisser! I'm not a vegetable and I don't like you, so go back to Canada and get to work. Ick, ick icky!!"

But she ran on after still, then someone swooped Camilla in their arms. She turned to see their face--it was Elder Pinto!! "We've been waiting for you!" Camilla said with a relieved tired smile. "We thought you were in the bathroom with Elder Companion...and we didn't know if you'd ever get here on time for your flight!" So Elder Pinto carried Camilla into the airport and put her down next to her twin.

When she went to talk to Liza, she saw her giving her strange looks. So she looked down and noticed she was wearing a pink bunny rabbit suit. "I'm a little worried about you, Camilla," her mom said not even realizing she had been taken captive. Camilla's dad began to ask in a sad puppy like voice, "Eliza, why is there..."

"Dad," Eliza said, " Interstate 50 does not exist because..."

"No!" her dad cut her off. "Why is there a pink bunny suit on Camilla?"

"That's obvious," Eliza explained. "It's because of her summer job at Northern Exposure. Dad, I thought you knew!"

"Oh yeah, I just forgot!"

"Silly Poptart!" Eliza said.

"But Eliza, my favorite child, why is the sisterhood ring only on you?"

"Because Dad, I'm the coolest, but I guess I'll give it to Camilla because it is her birthday eve after all." So she did, but she could hear Mary in the background, "Ha ha! Now you can't ever be a sister again!" Mary laughed. But Camilla and Liza looked at each other and laughed, "It's all good. We're not sisters, we're twins!"

The End